Hugs, Kit. I agree that many (possibly even most?) people don't know how to support someone with mental health issues, particularly in the one area you're talking about. One reason I find this forum so helpful is that there are other people who just "get it." The other thing is, someone could have a similar issue and find a particular thing helps them, when it might not help you (or me). It's sort of like dealing with grief, where one thing might be comforting to one person, but hurtful (or at least unhelpful) to another.

Honestly, I would suggest that you not go to this friend for this sort of thing in the future, if she tends to say hurtful or at least unhelpful things. I feel with my friends, there are a couple where I feel I can talk about this sort of thing (and really anything mental health or therapy-related), a few more where I can talk about more general mental health stuff (depression, anxiety, etc.--maybe on occasion something going on with my therapist), and a few others (who I don't see/talk to that often), where I just avoid the topic all together (in some cases, where I've just learned they won't be helpful with it). Same with family members (well, there's maybe only a couple family members--one being an in-law--where I feel I could talk about it).

It's something I've learned in part through working with my T, that some people in our lives are better at certain things than others. Like, there might be a friend I go to when I need a laugh or to vent about work, but it's not someone who I'd look to for emotional support. (And maybe one I'd look to for emotional support, but couldn't talk to her about work.) And that's OK.

It also can be a case, as StressedMess mentioned, of having to be very specific in what you need from someone at a given time. Like, "I don't want advice, I just want support." Or "I just want you to listen, you don't even really need to say much of anything." Or "I know you don't understand why I do this, but it's a coping mechanism for me--think of it like smoking, where maybe it's not the healthiest thing, but it helps me cope." (or choose your own example). To stress that you're not truly in immediate danger (hence my using smoking as an example vs., say, drugs, where maybe you *could* be in danger).

I hope this helps in some way. I'm not saying your friend doesn't love or care about you--she may just not be the best choice to go to in this situation.

Also, I'm glad your T replied. Will she be around this weekend?