Hello mpyzck,
As Lenny has noted, no one here is a doctor so we can't offer a diagnosis. But it's possible we can assist you in sorting out your problems or pointing you in the direction of someone or something that can help.

mpyzck: The Past Year I Have Become A Whole Different Person...

I'm wondering if there has been anything of significance that occurred in the past year. For example, did you go through some sort of major life event such as a car accident and then became different or did the differentness come on slowly over time, independant of any triggering event?

Ive Been Away From HIm For Monthes On End(military) And Never Once Did He Do Anything With Another GIrl.

When reading this statement I wasn't sure if you were in the military of if he was. I ask because male combatants and female combatants may respond to military duty differently. For that reason, if you were a female with a military duty I might recommend different links than I would for a male with the same history .

Another Thing I Dont Think Its Insurity Cause Im Am A Really HOtt Girl. IIve Won Pagents And Not An Ugly Girl At All I Could Have Anything I Want. But Why Am I Feeling This Way.

Even beautiful people don't want to lose the people they love. Obviously, you love your boyfriend very much and he probably represents a lot of security to you. If you lost him -- for any reason -- you'd still be deeply hurt by that even if you were the most gorgeous woman on the face of the earth.

My Whole Life People Have Left Me. My Mom My Dad So I Think Maybe There Is An abandonment Issue.

This seems a valid self-assessment. The irony is, if you're a person who has been abandoned in the past you might not begin to deal with the pain of those losses until you're in a relationship where you feel safe on an emotional level. It's quite possible you feel that degree of safety with your boyfriend and that's why all this stuff is coming up now.

i also cant have my back towards and open space so if im layin in bed my back has to be towards the wall if i lay in the front i have to face the closet and door. all doors to the bedroom have to be locked before i can go to sleep.

This is a ritual of reassurance and it tells me that you're frightened of something -- can you identify what that something is?

Like I Always Hear Soemone Say Thats His Girlfriend Or I Think I Do And I Think Everyone Is Tryin TO Take Him Away From ME. When I Go Out Places I Hear People Laughin And Lookin My Way And I Feel That They Are Talkin About Me Or Making Fun Of Me. I Stay In The Room All The Time. I Feel like His Family Dont Like Me And They Are Always Talking %#@&#! But He Says They Dont. I Hate Larger Groups Cause I Always Feel They Are Talkin About Me In SOme Way. I DOnt Know But It Gets SO bad TO Where We Leave.

I'm guessing it's this kind of behaviour that prompted you to post in this particular forum. Please bear in mind, in and of themselves, withdrawal and fear is not necessarily an indication of psychosis or schizophrenia -- it's best to take a look at the entire picture of what's going on in your life before coming to any conclusions.

Overall, I'm in agreement with others that I think a therapist could be helpful for you but whether or not you can go that route depends on whether or not you can afford therapy, if you have access to therapists in your location, or if you can find anyone you like and trust enough to open up to. What kind of therapist you could see might further depend on your personal circumstances. For example, as based on the little bit you've shared about yourself, therapist options might include a therapist knowledgeable about PTSD and combat trauma; a marriage or relationship therapist; a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in anxiety disorders, etc.

I hope you'll respond and provide more information but please, only share the information you feel comfortable sharing. Naturally, it's not necessary that anyone here knows your real name or where you live. We can offer support and resources without knowing those details about you.