Thank you stopdog and LT

This person is one who my Pastor Therapist suggested I go to for support so it is really awkward when she isn't really that supportive but I have like hardly anyone I can talk to IRL about any of this stuff and 75% of the time she will just send back a prayer or something and that is something I find comforting. So not probably going to completely stop talking to her about things. But I do definitely need to be more specific in what I am looking for in a response.

All day I have been worried that I hurt her feelings by telling her she kind of hurt my feelings. She is in Israel right now and so we are texting and sending voice messages (well I sent her one voice message on her birthday singing happy birthday to her) and you know how things can go in texts where there is no inflection or tone or body language to cue into. But we usually talk on text anyway so that can probably be part of the problem. But when I do speak to her in person she does give the most amazing hugs and for that I am thankful/grateful.

T will be in Las Vegas this weekend "throwing money away" as she put it. I don't know how much she will be around for my dramatics! I did just extend my contract with her so that probably helps. Hopefully I will start feeling a glimmer of better soon. Things can't stay miserable forever! I think I am just fragile right now and that's making things harder on everyone around me. That's why I think it would be better if I didn't exist for a week. When I begin to exist in a week, hopefully all bad things would be better and I would be out of this mess. Wishful thinking. I'll get through it one day at a time...maybe one moment at a time. And mostly by myself, except for you all.

HUG for LT and headnot for stopdog

Kit