I just don’t think I could handle things any more I’m just tired of this been dealing with ocd social anxiety depression for 18 years now I missed out on everything I barely leave the house. I love a guy too but he loves someone else I didn’t really try anything I liked him from afar but he wouldn’t like me even if I tried I don’t look like the woman he was into. For few months now thinking of him has given me tiny bit of excitement but anxiety ruined it but now I’m hurt thinking about him and I don’t want stop thinking of him. I feel more empty without thinking of him. He was as perfect as real him and could be a nice guy and it’s rare all these years for me to be into a guy this guy is as good as it gets idk if any better guy could exist. Also depressed about life to begin I’m 35 idk what to do to fix my life I want a boyfriend I want to have a husband the more time goes by the more I feel sad about everything. Any advice