I like this. It's like self validation.

I think I will add the things I know she's done to extend herself to all of us and cope.

My fear is, just SELF affirmation will polarize my thinking.

She's vulnerable.

I was able to progress in my career along the way too. Things like that were never celebrated because, as she said, it's a reminder she's been dead weight for a long time by comparison. My career progression in part off set our lost income.

The energy for others is infuriating, but she is finally able to leave the house regularly.

I helped her find health answers along the way, but she went through a large surgery in May that finally propelled things forward.

Thank you

I carried a lot of the responsibility for a long time.

I'm in therapy to just vent. After 2 years, I don't know if it helped. Maybe focused on the negative too much.

Our oldest is in HS. A few months ago he said, I think you think you aren't much of a man because mom gets so angry at you. But I've seen you take her anger for long stretches, maybe hours, say little back, then be fully there for her when she needed you if she got really sick an hour later. You have more emotional control and you're more of a man than anyone I know. And you spent time with us, did homework with us, made meals, whatever, since years.

LAST NIGHT, youngest kid voiced how cranky mom is with us lately, and how much time she spends with her new friends. I said, well, mom was stuck home for a long time. She needs friends. I also said, "Mom is cranky at me, not you. I haven't been very emotionally supportive lately."

Kid said, "I've been alone a lot since kindergarten, and now she's feeling better, I'm still alone." Kid also said, "Maybe mom is like this because you aren't there for her enough, butDad, you do a lot. You work. You fix the house and the cars. You take us to sports or just to get out of the house, you drove me to school everyday. You cook. Maybe mom gets to have friends, but she could help you some too. You can't do everything and still, like, be there for her all the time too. I don't think she should be cranky at you."

I've never said a word to them about this stuff.

I'm floored today. Just floored. The kid that said that is yooooung.