This goes way beyond a simple misunderstanding.
Some time ago my husband and I were having one of our deep discussions and I finally admitted to him that I really don't like being touched, at least initially. If you put your arm around my shoulder I will stiffen up for a split second and then I'm okay with it for the most part. I understand why this happens and I explained it to him.
His response devastated me. In a misguided attempt to alleviate my fears, he said that from now on he would wait for me to initiate it. The problem with that is I simply can't. I understand the reasons for it as well. Again I explained it to him.
He is so adamant that he doesn't want to trigger me that I've given up on solving this problem. Finally today I sent him a text message at work to tell him about how when I wake up at night I just want to put my arm around him and pull him close but I can't.
I know I don't make any sense but there are reasons I am the way I am and they can't be fixed. I just need him to go back to the way he was before I told him that but he can't either.