I wrestle with something similar in terms of wanting a job in the future, when I'm ready. I feel like my husband wants to limit me, yet I really wish I could be challenged with responsibilities that I'm excited about, and earnings that make a bigger difference in our lives. I think the whole disability setup in the US seems to scare some people from trying to work again. Yea, they give you a short trial period, but so often I think people do well until the trial period is over, then get sick and then are left in the lurch, financially. My nephew in Czech Republic is on disability for his life-long heart issues. He can try to work as much as he can (any job he can get/want), but if he gets sick and must quit/stop, he's always automatically able to get back full disability payment. And of course everyone here has universal health coverage. It better incentives trying to work.

I think most people in the US on disability want to work, deep down. A portion of Americans regard those on disability as almost "leeches on society" and yet they don't want any reasonable safety nets for them. I imagine it is similar with welfare. I included that quote because I've actually heard it. Very discouraging and mean! In any case, it's great that you are setting out to work again and applied for some higher paying jobs. I admire that and am even a bit jealous. All the best luck in getting what YOU want.

Glad you got a good night's sleep. I did, too, last night.