I don't actually think my relationship with L is in jeopardy. So it's not that kind of rupture. I've been with her long enough to know that this will somehow get resolved and actually make our relationship stronger. However, it really really sucks that we're having another rupture.

We have an routine that if I email her, she will email me before noon the next day either responding or letting me know when she'll respond.

I forget why, but L and I scheduled a phone call. Four mins beforehand she texts me and asks if I could push it back by 15mins. That really bothered me telling me just a few minutes beforehand. I agreed though. It was just 15mins and I wasn't doing anything otherwise. Then the next issue was about an email I wrote her at 1am -ish about feeling in the way. I thought she would email back before noon with a response or a time she'll respond. She responded to other emails I wrote before that, but not that one. So I emailed her back after noon, and she said she thought she didn't need to respond to it until noon the next day? If we want to get all nitty-gritty, yeah that's what we agreed upon. However, that would mean I'd have to wait over 24hours for a response, and I "assumed" she would never make me do that. Okay. And lastly was yesterday. After session, I was feeling really sensitive and called her asking for a 5min reassurance (not processing) phone call. She emailed me and asked if we could do it this morning. Again, I had nothing planned, so that wasn't the issue. This time, the fact that she didn't even have 5 mins for me REALLY made me feel in the way.

My issue is that I feel like I'm in the way, a burden, or too much for her. She says I'm not. She says that each situation had nothing to do with me. Yet it does affect me. She tells me I can reach out to her. But lately she hasn't been able to be there.

I just don't trust reaching out to her anymore. I still feel like I'm in the way.