Quote:
Originally Posted by Starlingflock
Talked with my counselor about how his symptoms are not just mental illness and addiction, but also personality disorder. She said his disorder was caused by abuse, and then he uses the same tactics on me that were used on him.
He now involves our child in his addiction problems, dragging her onto his rollercoaster, promising her give it up then disappointing her the very next day. He even told her his plan to smoke all his stash (a lot) then quit next day. He’s said this to me so many times and it’s a big waste of money how he’ll blow his stash and turn around to buy more the next day or so. I have been driven crazy living on his rollercoaster that he controls at all times. And now he puts her on it.
He is an idiot. And I’m the biggest idiot for letting him get away with it.
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His "symptoms." Really. So his character traits are "symptoms."
A bad person has bad character traits. But a sick person has "symptoms." Your husband is not a bad person. He's a sick person. That is the corner you keep backing yourself into.
How could you possibly be so cruel as to even consider abandoning a sick man? You know it's not his fault that he's "sick." You know how abused he was. You know this is the behavior he learned that was used on him. It's not his fault that he has this personality disorder.
Any woman who would break her marital vows and abandon her spouse because she's fed up with him having a sickness deserves to feel guilt and shame. You don't walk out on someone just because they are very sick. That's when you stick by them! (If you're any kind of a decent person.)
That is the corner you keep backing yourself into. You will never have any option to change anything, if you keep seeing this man as someone whose problem is that he is "sick."