The first stage in a grieving process is denial--it is hard to accept that someone has died. Yes, as we age, the people we know will gradually die. I'm 67 and have lost a number of friends and relatives, including my parents.

I've heard of grieving ahead of time--preparing emotionally to let go. I think it can be a healthy thing. But I find it best to concentrate more on enjoying them while we have them.

Of course, your wife won't be dead if she leaves you, but it will be an adjustment. A therapist I had once told me that losing one husband through divorce ended up being harder than losing one through death.

AT some point our bodies tell us it's time to move on, due to sickness or just old age. It's just part of living. I believe in an afterlife, so that makes it easier on me. I've told people that are dying that I'll see them later, and I believe that.

Are you seeing a therapist? I think they are useful in helping us to deal with such issues.

We are also here, and we care, so feel free to tell us more of what's happening with you. We even have folks who are divorced and dealing with loss of a spouse.