Hugs, Scarlet. I agree that a big part of the issue was her giving you things that she's now apparently unable to give you, at least with the same frequency or immediacy. I agree that I don't think you're too much as a person. It's more that what she gave you before has become too much for her now, in combination with other things she's doing.

So, the 5-minute phone call. I agree that it sounds like a very small amount of time, and I'd also be upset that she wouldn't give it to me that evening. It's like how my T had allowed the "in-person today, right?" texts for a few weeks, saying they were no problem and literally took him 30 seconds to respond to. And then suddenly they became "irritating." (Which was very upsetting to me.) He said even though they were very quick, that all the things he has to do add up. T

hen when H had hip surgery last month, I had to take over basically every household chore, plus stuff with my D, for a couple weeks. And I was saying to Dr. T how much stuff it was, that some of it seemed very minor individually in terms of time, but combined, it was a big chunk of my day. And that was sort of an "aha" moment for me, realizing how something like a 30-second text is small on its own, but everything adds up. Note: I am not comparing you to a "chore," but simply saying that things do add up.

It sounds like that's what's going on with L here, that she has all this other responsibility now, so that's all adding up. And she wants to still support you, but might not be able to in that window that she'd previously been able to (like calling in the morning instead of that evening or replying to your email the next day). I know this is a sore topic for you, but she also got married recently, right? I have no idea if that is related at all, but it's possible her spouse is taking up more of her time or, say, telling her, "no more work tonight, take a break!" Like if she says, "I just need to reply to a client email, then I'll come watch TV with you" (or whatever). (Maybe they had already lived together, I forget, in which case it's likely not that.)

This also makes me think of how pre-Covid, Dr. T used to have a pretty open schedule and saw fewer clients, so pretty much any time I wanted an extra or earlier session--or to change my session time--he had something available. Then he took on more clients with Covid because there was so much need in our area (I think he went from having 25 sessions a week to 35, something like that) and suddenly couldn't accommodate extra sessions most of the time. So then I often heard "no" from him the few times I asked for something. It felt like a safety net that had gone away. And I said how I'd been spoiled before, when he had more time. (It does seem like he's been more flexible lately, so maybe his client load has dropped a bit?)

Anyway, I agree with AliceKate that you need to have a discussion with L about what you can expect from her now, in terms of what you can give and in what time frame. Like clarify the email response time, for example. And if you want a quick call from her, is that something she can generally do in the evening, but that one night was an exception, or will she usually need more notice or be unable to talk in the evenings outside of an emergency? Or she can talk to you one evening a week or reply to x number of emails, something like that. I really hope you're able to work all this out with her.