Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
Thanks for your examples LT.
Yes. I need to know what her limits are now. Like a year ago she gave me her updated schedule, but I think it might be different now.
Her life has changed a lot too. She did get married this year. However, she doesn’t live with her H yet. He's going to training for his job and they can't be together yet. When he gets out, that's when they'll know where he'll be assigned and where they'll move. The move is like a haunting fear of mine.
She also purchased 50% of her business, so now on top of everything else, she had that work to do.
She's a busy woman. I get that. She has a full life, and I am truly happy for her. But I feel like she no longer has time for me and she's not admitting it to me or herself. So I keep hitting her limits. And it hurts.
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I completely get that it hurts. (And how you can be happy for her at the same time.) Plus you also don't know exactly what her limits are right now until you bump up against them.
It's like with my T when my check-in texts became irritating to him one week when they were fine the week before (and I'd even asked to make sure they were still fine!) He told me he'd just assumed I'd stop them on my own, but then I didn't. I said it was like he expected me to be psychic and know exactly when they were starting to bother him. Like when I was hitting his limit. Which isn't fair.
(Not that I think you're irritating L!)
I think this thing you said at the end here might be a big part of what's going on--that she hasn't admitted to herself yet that she has less time or can't give you what she did before at the same level. And she needs to realize and admit it to herself before she can admit it to you.