Quote:
Originally Posted by Starlingflock
Talked with my counselor about how his symptoms are not just mental illness and addiction, but also personality disorder. She said his disorder was caused by abuse, and then he uses the same tactics on me that were used on him.
He now involves our child in his addiction problems, dragging her onto his rollercoaster, promising her give it up then disappointing her the very next day. He even told her his plan to smoke all his stash (a lot) then quit next day. He’s said this to me so many times and it’s a big waste of money how he’ll blow his stash and turn around to buy more the next day or so. I have been driven crazy living on his rollercoaster that he controls at all times. And now he puts her on it.
He is an idiot. And I’m the biggest idiot for letting him get away with it.
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Yes, abuse is cyclical. Abusers typically learn their behaviors by mirroring their parents' behavior towards them.
Your daughter may grow to become a codependent, as you have become yourself because she likely wants to fix her father and doesn't know how.
You're not an idiot. But, you are making a choice to remain with someone who abuses you. Know that this is a choice you are consciously choosing.