I feel like complete crap physically. I think its the hematrcrit again. I sent a message to my blood doctor asking if I can do the blood test tommorow instead of the 8th. I am going out of state for the 4th of July and theres no way I can travel and mingle with cousins I haven't seen in 3 years when I feel so crappy. I'm hoping she'll agree to the blood test and if the level is high I can get another phelebotomy procedure done on Wednesday or Thursday. My pdoc told me it looks like I have some form of cancer. I don't think thats his place to say that since he is not a medical doctor plus why would you scare your client. My mom thinks theres something legit medical going. I tried just snapping out of it and doing stuff today. Like I get theres no snapping out of things but if I have had enough of something then I can get my head out of the sand. Like I was fed up with my weight in 2016 and I had enough so I just did something about it. In 1990 3 years before I was born my dad stumbled into the kitchen drunk when my sister was 18 months old and the look she gave him lit a fire under his *** and he got into rehab and never touched a drink again. If you want something badly you'll work for it. Sorry about the rant I'm emotional today.