Hi starlingflock. I hope you are well tonight

You are NOT an idiot. You are a wife who is struggling with a difficult choice. I can wish and hope for many things for you. Tonight I choose to hope you stop thinking you are an idiot.

No one can change the past. We can't go back and make different choices in hopes it changes our present. Beating yourself up by calling yourself an idiot is not going to bring you to happiness in the future. It only keeps you focused on the past. Wishing you had done things differently is normal, but the past is how you got now. It does not have to dictate your future.

All the best.