Because I hit him once. This is easily one of my deepest shames and I am terrified of the response that I will get from people on this, I know people love animals. I have reached out to a new therapist, and I want to talk about this among other issues but I am really scared to make this admission. I love him to be sure but he has a really anxious temperament and there is no way to take back what I did, which is the worst part.