So, it turns out Karma is real and I really do deserve every beating, every lie, every insult, every bully, every sexual assault I ever endured. I don't know what I've done but that doesn't mean anything. Hell, I can have a car accident and not know it so it's no surprise I go around doing horrible things to people and not know it, too. I am despised. People block me online or turn me away with no explanation. I send text messages that are never answered, so I have to be guilty of something. I'm constantly being ghosted like people just want me to go away. You have to be a really horrible person to have this much bad stuff happen to you and I am a really horrible person. I've deluded myself for 60 years thinking all I ever wanted was to be a good person, and all this time I thought I was, but I was wrong. Not that it matters. People hate me and want me gone. I'm nothing but a burden. I can't carry my own weight. I have nothing to do. I want a life but I'm too sick. The meds just simply aren't working fast enough, and I just can't take it anymore. I am so tired I just want to sleep forever. I want all of this to go away but it won't, and I can't do this anymore.