i think i'm messed up

this morning when i was getting ready for work i called Willow by the other name i used to call my angel Ebony - i used to call her sweetpea

Willow's other name is petal, she answers to Willow but seems to understand that petal is her sweet-talk nickname

idk how i can "archive" that mental pain when i do still miss Ebony so much

and Ebony sweetpea angel never deserved what humans did to her she deserved to live in a loving home and have the health that she didnt have in reality

i wish with everything in my heart that i could of undone everything she went through and had her health problems instead of her, including the cancers in different places