At least that will give you a break from having him at home and having his behavior to put up with. Enjoy the break . . . for however long it lasts.

His brother will soon tire of having him there. He'll be back. No brother or friend is going to give him as good a deal as he's been getting from you.

It's not wrong for you to see your husband's humanity and feel compassion for him. It may be that the way he is happens to be all he is capable of being.

So he gets "triggered" by anything he perceives as a threat, and "he lashes out whenever" he doesn't "feel safe." That brings us right to the core of what he believes. He believes he should never be made to feel unsafe. This is an unsafe world, and we all have to deal with feeling unsafe. (He makes you feel unsafe.) No one on this planet gets to feel snug and safe all the time. We try to create an illusion of that for children because they're children. Even they get tragically disabused of that illusion, as we know all too well. Your husband wants to live perpetually as a child. The "weed" cloaks him in a fuzzy blanket. He won't give that up. No one should be allowed to unsettle him. He won't "play that game." He'll run from any scenario where anyone disturbs his tranquility. The rest of us have to cope with friction at work and with all the challenges that come with meeting responsibilities. But not him. He must be assured of being "safe" at all times. He has decided he is entitled to that. After all, he had an insecure childhood. He got cheated. So, now, Starling, it's your job, to award reparations to him for what he feels he got cheated out of. Actually, he didn't think that up all on his own. You've fostered that thinking, by taking on the role of infantilizing him.

He'll be back.