Vinnie, one thing that has helped me in situations where I'm literally in the middle of the storm is to consider what my feelings are when I imagine the same situation happening to a good friend. It can be easy to stay stuck in feelings because of history and memories of the good times, but there are more stories to write. Better stories. I'm guessing you'd want love, trust and honesty for your friend. Allow yourself to deserve the same. Focus on you- find the things that bring YOU joy, find a therapist or group you feel comfortable with and that challenges you to put yourself first, and believe that great new things are coming your way. You said you loved doing things with the ex; so go do those things and make new friends who share that same interest with you. Meetup groups exist in most large cities for just about every activity and support type group imaginable. Steps lead to more steps which lead to more steps. I've reinvented myself after my break up, mostly in finding my tribe/friends, trying new things, and being grateful for all I've learned about life, parenting and myself.