My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar check-in #67

*Beth* · Jun 30, 2022, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

First, I'm sorry I've not been very good at giving hugs or thanks on posts lately. I'm reading but having trouble doing more than skimming through right now.

I'm having serious anxiety problems. As I said a few days ago I'm house/pet/chicken sitting for the next 7 days (5 days down). And it seems that every day has had issues messing with my head.

I am chicken sitting despite being scared of birds. I'm actually doing ok with them although I've not had to go into the coop yet. My BIL left tons of food and water for them which was so nice. I'll probably go in tomorrow or the next day.

The other thing I really struggle with is dead stuff. So of course my first morning the cat had brought a mole to the porch. I disposed of that. Then I had to empty the pool filter. I could not get it open and after my BIL came up with a long-distance trick I got it opened and there was a dead bird floating in there. At this point I was pretty well panicking. I called my mom when my sister wasn't helpful enough (I think she thought I could lift it out with gloves on. Not happening). My mom suggested fish nets and I was able to scoop it out and away with those. So now every night when I check the filter I get on the phone with my mom in case some horror awaits.

Yesterday I don't think I was as anxious until I heard a huge noise in the evening. I thought was someone pounding hard on the door but nobody was there. Later I saw a tow truck hauling a car go by so I think I heard an accident. So that got me calmed down again.

This morning I got up early and let the dog out and turn on the pool filter (I had no idea a pool was so much work). The cat had already caught a mouse which she later ran off with and I hope to never see it again.

I wound Up making a mistake that could be really bad or nothing at all. I've been fighting hard to stick to nothing at all. But everything here is stressing me out. Not knowing a door doesn't latch easily could have turned into a HUGE mistake with consequences. I don't know how long it will be before I can quit worrying about that one. (Don't want to be too specific unless someone finds this).

I just am overwhelmed being on my own in a strange place with strange responsibilities.

I miss my cat. My mom is taking great care of her and sends me pictures but I miss her.

I can't wait to go home. I've done this before and have never had such a hard time. I have no idea what my problem is but I really can't settle down.

Your anxiety is completely understandable. definitely have compassion for yourself. That's a lot of work you're responsible for, and for a whole week. Dealing with the dead animals is upsetting; I don't think many people would feel calm about that. And missing your own cat is so hard.

For years and years I house sat for my sister in her very large house. Usually, it went okay - even fun, in a way. But one time came along that...smh...nothing would go right. It was one thing after another. She also had a pool and yes, pools are a big amount of hassle. That's why many people hire someone to care for their pool (you've heard of the stereotypical "pool boy" - lol?). I have a number of friends who have had their pools filled in because of the work involved with maintaining a pool.

Anyway, that time, by the time my sister came home I was pretty much beside myself. I told her that no way could I ever house sit for her again. And she didn't ask me to for several years, until their kids were grown and she and my BIL had moved to a condo. The condo situation was much more manageable and house sitting wasn't too bad. But still, not easy.

No matter what it is a major challenge to be in someone else's home with all the little things to learn about/be surprised by (even unfamiliar noises are stressful), all the chores to do and naturally, missing your own environment.

It's no wonder you're anxious. Remember grounding tools and remember to breathe. I find that just sitting down and mindfully sipping a glass of water or tea can be centering. Placing an ice pack on your pulse points and at the base of your neck can be so calming.