Logically know you are right about this. But I think I'm scared that I already had that "worth their weight in gold" T in my life (the one who died earlier this year) and that no one else is going to match up to her. I think it's why I keep giving this one more chances than maybe I would otherwise, because I don't feel I'm being fair in comparing her to ex-T.

I'm not saying ex-T was perfect, far from it, and she definitely pushed me in ways I didn't like or appreciate at the time. But I did recognise that she was 100% committed, passionate about her job and genuinely invested in doing her best for me.

I just miss her so much, and the strange therapy relationship being what it is, I can't talk about her with anyone else who knew her. I don't feel comfortable talking about her to current T, although she said it's ok, but it just feels too weird. I was going to speak to someone else just about the bereavement stuff but after having waited 3 weeks for the appointment, they had to cancel at the last minute due to illness.

I feel if I can't get all the complicated mixed up things out of my head about ex-T, I'll never be able to move on with someone else.

That sounds too weird even to me.

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