I am much better today. I’m about a week off of nicotine so the initial withdrawal has calmed. And honestly I just got sick of being so upset.

Yesterday right before I went to work my SIL texted me threatening sui again. Since I was already upset it upset me more, not out of fear she’ll do it (I know she won’t, she’s very Christian and afraid of going to hell) but out of pure desperation of not wanting to deal with it anymore. I said she should go to the ER and she refused. I didn’t want to involve police because they can’t be trusted for mental health concerns. So I just said I’m going to work and I’ll check in tomorrow.

She checked in today with a long lament about how she’s defective, she’s a terrible person, etc. again, it is not that I don’t care, it is not that I don’t understand, it’s just that I am not a qualified therapist and I am unable to take on her trauma while handling my own. So I gently told her that I was so sorry she was feeling so bad and she needs a therapist, so please put her name on the waiting lists. When she inevitably comes to me again I will have to repeat my boundary, that she needs to speak to a professional.

Anyway I got good news that the manager gave me off on Sunday. I was supposed to work sun-tues but she wants to even out the hours and distribute them among the team so she said choose Sunday or Monday to take off. I chose Sunday bc Monday will be time and a half so now we’re going to have a little picnic at my grandma’s house on Sunday. Should be fun!