Thanks, Rive. And I agree. My husband is not offering any sort of alternative solution. My only solution is to simply limit my time with her to practically nothing. I told him last night that I will not join them again for dinner until next Friday, the night before she flies back to California. He can be with her every night this week, but I won't be. And I need to be with my own family at this time due to the loss of my father. My mother is having a far more difficult time, now that the shock is wearing off.

I honestly cannot take anymore. I've been through so much recently, and with the loss of my father, my patience level is very thin these days. I'm on edge and irritable, and her comments are sending me over the edge.

Also, I know that she makes hurtful comments to her other daughter-in-law out in California, so it's not just me. They've had a few fights whereby they didn't speak for days. I think this woman (her other daughter-in-law) is a complete saint at this stage. She has taken her mother-in-law into her home ,while she works full-time and is also taking care of FOUR kids at home.

And talk about more rudeness? Apparently in California my husband's mom pees in her bed, she leaves the soiled sheets on the bed as well as her soiled diapers on the floor. (She has to wear diapers because she's 80 and leaks). She doesn't clean up after herself in her son's home, so the daughter-in-law has to clean up after her day after day. She also refuses to bathe (she has a private bather who comes twice per week), so she smells and offends all the kids and family. She doesn't care. And they took her into their home when she had no place to go. This is how she behaves.

And yes, she is perfect, however, and so is her son.