Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
Starting over with a new T has its pros and cons. For some, they find a better T. For others, they don't find a T that matches with them. And then there's many other scenarios that are true too. Suggesting that one way or the other is best, doesn't mean either will apply to an individual. But if an individual has the wherewithal to keep trying, then it might definitely be worth it.
I have been with both bad Ts, mediocre Ts, good Ts, and great Ts. I went from mediocre to bad to great to bad. Took an 8 year break because of agoraphobia. Found a bad one, then a good one, and now a great one. For me, I needed a therapist's help. There was no other way for me.
My point is that everyone is different and everyone has different experiences. It IS a possibility that one might find a good T after a bad one.
|
I agree with this. I had been very attached to my former marriage counselor (not particularly attached to my former individual T) and didn't think I'd be able to find someone like him who could be my individual T. Well, my current T is very different from him, but we have a good relationship that feels more genuine and solid in many ways. Are we a perfect fit? No. But he's been really helpful in some areas. And helped me in getting past ex-MC.
I think if someone is going into it looking for an exact replacement for a T, they will most likely be disappointed, as they're all different. That's what I was trying to do at first ("why can't you be more like him?") But going into with an open mind, thinking that even if someone is very different, you could still learn from and be helped by them--that would have a greater chance of success.
The other thing is, starting with a new T, you wouldn't have the trust built up. They won't know you well, you won't know them well. So there will likely be some conflicts and missteps (by the T) and misunderstanding. It takes time to build a relationship.
That being said, if it feels completely wrong from the start and/or you keep having similar conflicts and/or you just don't feel the T gets you at all (and various other issues that interfere with the ability to work with them), then it's likely time to move on. And that's the sense I'm getting from your posts, East.