First of all, English is not my native language so this might not be very well written...
My ex and I broke up around 15 months ago, and I will try to explain in as little words as I can. He was super attached to his parents, and they are both very very sick and need constant 24 hour care. They don't have money or means for any help and there is no cure for any of them so their son, my ex, has to be with them, bathe and feed them, clean, and take care of them basically 24 hours every day. Their diseases are not curable or treatable but they can live long long time, sadly in great pain and suffering. I feel for him and his problems, even though his quite strong attachment to his parents was an issue in our relationship even before they got sick. Still, I loved him and considered him my best friend. Sadly, he retreated from me completely in time, and it became quite obvious, he will never have free time again. This is a full day care and he literally can't get out of it. He says it's hell, and I believe him. I don't know how bad it will be for him when one day his parents pass away and I dread that because I know it will be extremely bad. I would like to be there for him, but he is pushing me away even as a friend.
We broke up because we could never see each other, and he was extremely depressed and constantly saying he became "bad man", and declined every my attempt to help him in any way. Just detached from me... I still want him as a friend but when I try to contact him, and it's possible only on messenger, he just wrote something like "it's very bad", "hellish" or whatever and stops writing. Our relationship on love side wasn't great but I always cherished him as a friend and I want to help but he refuses. He won' t pick up a phone, he only sends short dark and depressed messages when I ask him then cuts me off. Again.
I am worried but I am out of resources to contact him or help him. I can't visit because he forbade me that, said it would disturb his very sick parents. They are both physically and mentally very very sick. It's bad. I believe him when he says that. But this is torture. We were friends for 25 years, love relationship on the side, I miss my friend. I want to help him. I don't want him to fall apart not now or ever worse when they are gone. His messages worry me. He wants to cut me off, says he "became horrible human" and I don't know what to do.
I am very scared that I am pushy and that I force something that isn't there anymore.