I don't think you are over reacting. Strong reactions are important information and we should take time to consider what's going on when we have strong emotions. He should be helping you to pay attention to those emotions, and not just him saying he "understands" them.

You describe repeated instances of misattunement within the therapy with him. Times when he misses your needs are inevitable (albeit painful). Is there any work going on to help you explore what happens for you when he misses your need and how you can (emotionally)survive that?

So much of what you write is about what is happening for him (his home circumstances, his boundaries, his needs, what he is prepared to give you, etc) that I wonder if he is helping you to focus on you and your intra personal experiences.