It’s terrible. I was attacked by men several times in the attempt of sexual assault. I got away every time. Don’t even know how, I am not athletic but at time of danger I manage to run fast and have a lot of strength to fight.

It certainly not something you caused. I am sorry. It’s tough. Pursuing unavailable men will not solve the issue though. And it won’t make you happy. Seek happiness in other things in life. Maybe helping other women and advocating for other people in need