Yeah. Does food get me what i want. I think my tears or sadness were met by my father offering me food. He did not want to have to deal with any of that shyte.

My pdoc/t once asked me about being an emotional eater. I was like no - i am feeling hunger when i eat. But now i think it was anxiety. Like there was no way 20 years ago i would get obesity surgery. Not being able to eat "a sufficient quantity" was not an option. Now (for the past week or so), i am able to stay conscious and aware most of the day and not wander off into snacking-land. But its hard. Or weird.

Like an emotional reaction gets hijacked by a physical one so fast...