My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years, and have lived together for our entire relationship. I had just lost a room mate and he was falling out with his family, so it was convenient for both of us to move in together. In the beginning of our relationship, marriage was mentioned, by him, so I naturally assumed that this relationship would continue on to marriage, and didn't feel like it was a mistake moving in together.

However, I have been bringing up the idea of marriage for a few months, and he now says that he doesn't believe in marriage as an institution, doesn't believe that marriage is necessary if two people truly love each other, feels that it "traps" two people together, and simply isn't ready in his life to be "that committed" to anyone.

He feels that our relationship is very committed, but I feel that if he were serious about me and continuing our relationship, he would want to get married to me. I asked him to marry me and his basic response was "Give me ten years or more to think about it". He wants to go back to school (which I totally support, but could be six or seven years, or more), and wants to travel after school and doesn't feel that he will be ready for marriage until he is about 35 (he is 25 now, I am 27), and that by then his views of marriage may have changed in a positive way.

We have also discussed children (which I want to have two) and he says he doesn't really want to have children at all, and won't have children until he has a career and substantial income, which is responsible, but I'm not getting any younger. I know that a lot of people have fertility issues and the rate of birth defects increases with age... I worry I will never be able to have kids if I wait for him to be ready.

At this point, I don't know if I should continue the relationship or tell him I want to break up. I am extremely hurt by his rejection of marriage, though he says he still wants to be with me. Our relationship is pretty good, I'd say the best I've ever had, and I don't think he's perfect, I see his flaws and he sees mine, and we accept each other. But this is too hard for me to handle. I've been avoiding him for days (which is pretty hard since we live and work together). I feel like I need some time away from him to sort out my thoughts, but I still don't know what to do about the situation.

I see marriage as a statement to your society that you choose to be with this person, and ask for public witness and acceptance of this. It is also a time to make vows to your partner, a code of conduct, promises of how you will treat your partner and handle problems together. It is a time to celebrate your union with family and friends. A most of all, the ultimate commitment made between people who choose to make a life together, sharing a home and raising children. These are the things that I want marriage to be, and it hurts me that he doesn't want the same thing.

So here's my dilemma; If I stay, it will be settling for no marriage and possibly no kids. If I go, I lose everything good about this relationship, and have to find somewhere else to live, and am still no where closer to marriage and children, as I will be alone.

What should I do? I need help, as mulling it over all week has not gotten me anywhere!