Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
LT—why is what you put in the trigger warning above on SH a red flag for him, but not for you? The red flag would be, my interactions with this therapist are not healthy for me and I need to think about alternatives.
That is not a bad reflection on either of you. I have a coworker and we are both decent people and like each other, but we don’t interact well past the level of colleagues. We tried to be friends, but we just rub each other the wrong way too much (and that has led to self-destructive urges on my part when I’m already in bad shape). So we stopped trying to be friends. Nothing is wrong with either of us.
I just don’t understand why the red flag is only for him.
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That's a really good point. I've been thinking about it and am unsure of the answer.
The best I can come up with is that I see it as a weakness in myself, that I feel I shouldn't have let my reaction become so strong. Hence my guilt surrounding telling him about it. Well, also not wanting to seem manipulative or guilt-trippy in any way.
So it's not so much "I should get away from this person because I had this reaction to something he said to me." It's "I'm weak and should have been able to handle what he's saying, so it's more me than him."
In saying it seems like it should be a red flag for him, my thoughts are more that he should be thinking, "Hm, if she had this reaction, I wonder if this is the right approach for her? At least for times when she's under a lot of stress?" As he's the professional in the room and the one who opted for this technique.
Also that's good you and the coworker realized that about each other.