Thats why im suggesting primal scream therapy. So there is no limit to it.

You are describing two different things -

1. How to politely negotiate.
2. How to get in touch with your anger.

But a person probably needs to do them in reverse order. First anger, then politeness. You cant mix them up. Thats where sarcasm and passive aggressiveness live.

I didnt mean to suggest you "want" to tantrum. I really meant, what is the point of revealing your rawest feelings to another person? Isnt it enough to just have those feelings? Is it to blame the other person and get them to take responsibilty for causing you to have those feelings?

ARE they causing you to have those feelings? Because it's a question of right and wrong and they are wrong? (I had these feelings in most cases with my family.) I now wish i had spent my t money on "exercising my prerogatives" - not looking for their permission, not letting their ignorance hold me back. But i felt trapped, and therefore i was.

Maybe its like the book, When Bad Things Happen To Good People.