Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
It's not minor, LT. It is bothering you. The lack of consistency does not help re establishing a secure relationship. Kinda waiting for the rug to be pulled under your feet at any time, so how could you get comfortable
I did feel these were micro-abandonments. Not saying 'micro' to minimise their importance but just that what is happening in the now with T seems to be touching a core wound (linked to abandonment?). So it can feel retraumatising (for lack of a better word).
He is really blundering through it all.. and who is left struggling? The client i.e. you.
|
Oh, I like the term "micro-abandonments." That seems very fitting. It's also a case where one or maybe two in isolation wouldn't be a big deal. But it's like I've just gotten over one thing when another happens. (I mean, I know life can just be like that at times in general.)
And your analogy of waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me is fitting. I forget whether I included this in the earlier post, but I did say I worried that his wife (and son) would say she felt much better with his being virtual this week, so could he just continue doing that? And because it was a "democracy," would he have to abide by that? And he said that no, he wouldn't be OK with that, how he would make his own decision to keep seeing clients in person in that case. That it's ultimately his decision. So that did make me feel better at least.
"Blundering through it all" is right, though!