I got the Invega injection that I didn't want to take. I didn't say anything or talk to my doctor that gave me the shot - It was just injection, and then I left.

He's helped me more than any other professional in my treatment team - He made me realize that life is just life - And that I don't have to think so deeply about it.. But I've been seeing another doctor so maybe he thinks I don't like him - He did put me down a lot but it really helped.

I'm in a bad state of mind - I think people when I'm on the street whisper bad things to me. Little paranoia.. But I don't care at all - It's been like this.. since when wanting to hit that guy with the plastic shovel, and the video chat people, putting me down.

I contacted my dark net market friend - He didn't reply. Idk why he told me everything about the process of being the biggest dark net dealer in my country, then stopped talking. He helped me a lot but he was being narcissistic.

And also, I have a friend that my dad says not to talk to (He's always doing speed and writing manic pages that Idk why I'm reading them). He is lonely, really smart.. But Idk why I talk to these people. I feel so alone.

I always feel good at night - Even though I'm sad/depressed. In the morning, I feel bad with brain fog.. And it takes me the whole day to fully wake up. I don't care if I die. I procrastinate, can't start things - I don't see the point. But I'll continue - Eventually I'll feel good again..

This is all a dream to me.