I'm lucky I'm able to eek by on my meager welfare allowance; if I was going to have any hope of trying to show up someplace everyday, let alone offer any reasonably consistent level of productivity in any capacity, I would no doubt have to do so with some kind of chemical assistance. It is very much due to my ultra simple life that I can endure the comedy of errors that it is, even on this small scale.

I'm really happy, to put it mildly, that I can have something to offer here that is meaningful. But lest you envy me overly much, let me remind you that this is it for me. I don't matter anywhere else, have no responsibilities to live up to outside of bathing and loving my partner. I choose this; i'm not whining about anything. But it's nothing to admire in some sense.

If I think about it, I could say that I long for more contact with the world, but then I'm so philosophical about just making the teeny tiny space I occupy on this planet at least that much brighter, I can't get too excited about the idea I'm "missing" anything.

I suspect its a situation we will all reevaluate throughout our lives. I'm really glad we can compare experiences and outlooks to inform that eternal debate. This never happened in the doctor's waiting room, this has only ever happened for me here. What a place, huh?