Dear @willowtigger, you can google what I'm about to tell you & probably find the answer to your problem with your friend. David D. Burns, M.D. has written several books. One of them, "Feeling Good", teaches about cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT.) It explains things we think & do that cause depression, anxiety, etc. And it teaches us how to talk to ourselves to change our feelings & habits. It gives examples of maladaptive habits that various people end up adopting. One of the habits that some people might adopt is called "yes-but...". You can go ahead & google some articles about this. Maybe even find a book?