Thank you, The_little_didgee

I do have a fear of invisible pain. It's why self harm worked so well for me for so long. It made what was on the inside come outside. But people still ignored it. I mean, that kind of makes it attention seeking, which it wasn't as I kept it hidden, but it made it visible to me. It made it real instead of whatever it was. It was a poor way of communicating for me.

I still want to self harm though. I'm having lots of thoughts of doing it. Wish I could calm my head down somehow.