Oh god, that would absolutely throw me for a loop too!!! I'm not surprised you feel awful, and I'm sorry she won't even talk to you about it! It's like someone coming up to your door and giving you a really nasty present and you just having to accept it. That doesn't seem fair. But then, as I'm sure you know on a rational level, these challenges are all part of the work. I just hope eventually you get the chance to talk it through and work things out with her. Sucks in the meantime though. If you have one, fall back ok your self care plan. People to reach out to (if that's your thing) or things to do to help like journalling or going for a walk.

I'm sorry I don't have much more else to say that will I'm any way help, it must really hurt and I'm really sorry.