Thanks Lonesome. I could -and with hindsight I should have simply done that. But I guess the emotional part of me overrode everything and all I could think about was how I hadn't mattered enough for her to ensure she'd tell me something as important as a second holiday. I know that's unfair on her though because T does care very deeply and I know that for sure. I wanted her to really hear my distress about it though. The other issue is she is not the most organised of people. She won't even set a session in stone for her return - her approach is to text me when she's back and arrange something, which causes me anxiety. But the flights in UK are being cancelled left right and centre so there's no guarantees even if T said she'd be back in time. She indicated she's only back for a few days in between, but I don't know for sure. Her jet lag will be intense too.

There's still two more sessions before her holiday so I will see her to talk about it. But I honestly feel unable to sit with it until next Wednesday and now with her saying she can't make time for a call I'm freaking about that too. I think she is upset with me for being angry with her.