Yes I'm also pretty hurt that T didn't say she couldn't call in the next couple of days but hopefully early next week - or something like that. Even that would have helped

Intuitively I do feel that T is struggling with my anger and kind of avoiding it as she knows she has messed up and deeply upset me. I think she knows it's a massive deal but rather than owning that she's gone all distant and defensive. I have to say T is not normally like this at all. She's very good at knowing her own stuff. I suspect she is very busy right now but she has always in the past made time even if it's only for a few minutes, so I think her saying 'no' is a case of both her hectic schedule and not wanting to speak to me. The problem is I know that and it's scaring me more. I just hope she responds to my email so that I can at least get through the week.