I think it's only natural that you're going to have the fantasy of this working out still between you two.

Have you ever heard of the term, "trauma bond"? If not, you can look it up yourself, but it's the bond that occurs between the abuser and the abused victim, that bonds the victim to their abuser. The victim longs for the once in a while good times that they get from their abuser, even after the abuse ends and even after the abuser has left. That bond is formed based on a trauma that occurs between abuse incidents. Abuse occurs, and the victim gets traumatized by it, but longs for and wants the abuser to be nice again so badly that it develops a strong bond to the abuser. Then the abuser is nice again for a while, and the bond/addiction gets stronger. Then abuse occurs again, and the victim wants the abuser to be nice. And around and around it goes - the cycle of abuse. This is partially what makes it so hard for a victim of abuse to leave - the trauma bond - and what makes it so hard to shake the abuser out of your system emotionally.

If you read up on this, it may help you. Just a thought.