Lonelyinmyheart, I feel for you. I hear you that you are still struggling--and I think that is an appropriate response to what has happened. Feeling shaken to the core also makes sense to me. I hope that you will be able to work through this with your T and come out of it in a much better place. It is hard right now, because you are sitting with it, and it might be hard later when you are able to talk to T about it. You are being very brave and very strong. Sending you comforting hugs, if wanted, Kit