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Old Jul 08, 2022, 01:37 PM
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SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Also, regarding the money to charity, I don't know about religious guidelines for that, aside from the tithing thing that I think is for Catholics (I'm very technically Catholic, but have been to like 2 masses in my life, I think, one of which preceded a wedding). I want to say tithing is 10%, but I may be wrong.

I wonder if you could give back in other ways so that you could save some of your money? I know you already do some volunteer work, but could you do some more of that in place of the money? It wouldn't even have to be stuff you could do in person--you work in payroll, right? I wonder if there are any sort of services using your job skills that you could provide for the church or people in the congregation or community? Like I served as secretary for our local public health association for a couple years and was in charge of their Facebook page and some other communications (all volunteer). Or else could you help to raise money for a cause, without it being your money? Help organize an event that's also a fundraiser? Just throwing some stuff out there so that you could be giving back while still having enough money for your own needs.

Also, regarding giving gift cards and things like to your coworkers--are you familiar with the Love Languages? One of them is gift-giving, so it could be that's yours, so you express your appreciation (or love) by giving gifts. Whereas others might use words (words of affirmation) or doing something for the other person in return (acts of service). The other thought is that maybe you don't feel valuable enough in some way, so you're using money in a sense to try to make up for that? Those seem like good things to talk to your T about. And in terms of the financial aspect/charity, could it be something you address with either your pastor or pastor's wife, in addition to your T?
Lots of good thoughts here, LT.

In my denomination it is also 10% but that is the minimum. One is encouraged to give as much as possible or as Pastor J says "Give til it hurts, and then give some more!" So my thinking is very much tied up with that sort of mindset and it is a bit difficult sometimes, thinking for oneself about things. Plus naturally, of course, one wants to do good.

I'm not sure I can volunteer more than I am already doing, time wise, with my commitments to after care and therapy and stuff. I've done some online fundraising for one of my charities and that has been somewhat successful and also very stressful! And at the end of the month I am volunteering many hours for a week of children's camp at my Church. It's after work on Wed, Thurs, and Fri, and then all day Saturday and Sunday morning.

Yes, I am familiar with the love languages and I do think mine is gift giving, with words of affirmation being a close second. It's hard when you don't know what the other person's love language is though!

Might bring some of this up in Spiritual Direction next week. We'll see. I think I have some more pressing things to talk to T about but it can definitely go on the back burner for now.

Thanks for the answer and advice! Appreciate you!
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