Therapy is not the only way to deal with your sadnesses and despair. Sometimes I believe therapy is fundamentally exploitative, regardless of modality or individual therapist style. I think the difficulty is finding other ways to support yourself, to nourish yourself and to find some space for some human connection.

Do you do anything somatic? Artistic? Can you try ways to connect with your self, even if you try once? I don't know, life is hard and relationships are hard. I hope you can find a way for yourself, no matter how slow and slight.