I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and going through this. I have definitely experienced the feelings of being "too much" for my therapist and pdoc so I can relate there.

I am in the US and an unfamiliar with the details of the UK system. Do you have something like a partial hospitalization program or an intensive outpatient program? I did an intensive outpatient program last fall and it was extremely helpful. I was very suicidal when I went in and I got three groups a week plus two individual sessions and a social worker. It really helped to stabilize me. I am still in aftercare which is one group a week. I see an individual therapist on my own now and I see her once or twice a week.

It's hard when everything is overwhelming and feels hopeless. And when you feel powerless. I wish I had the "right words" to say that things can and do get better. I say that even as I am struggling with my own mental health right now. But my T literally told it to me a couple of days ago and I am holding onto that because I trust her. For who knows what reason. But I do.

Please don't give up. You are worth fighting for.

HUGS if wanted/tolerated. Kit