Hi, a small update:
My friends were so worried about me, because I didn't talk to them and they knew that I tend to self-destructive behaviour, that they called the ambulance on me. I was in the hospital for a few hours, but didn't stay there, they did give me some calming medicine though and one of the doctors said that when I have my psychiatrist appointment I should look into borderline personality disorder with them. I don't think that that shoe fits though, but I guess, I'll see.