Quote:
Originally Posted by BigBubba
I struggled with close relationships since I was a kid because of my overprotective mother abuse. I thought I was doing okay these days, I opened up to ppl, especially to women and, I dated quite a bit, trying hard not to blew it and I didn't but...
I ended up realizing that all of that effort was to make girl like me so I win. It was nothing more than revenge for past rejections (I've been rejected a lot bc of my anxiety and my mom tried to convince me it is what it is).
The next step once the girl likes me is me trying to make her dislike me so I can hit back and ditch her. I see what's behing it now - a massive amount of hatred and shame.
I dunno what to do, my T did everything he could and we're done.
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At first glance, it would appear that you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but since you've stated you feel horrible and embarrassed for your actions, I'm inclined to think you act this way out of fear of rejection. Anyone with NPD wouldn't admit to the things you claim to do and feel bad about it, they would feel proud and happy for how they treat others. You recognize how your behavior affects others, I'm glad you're willing to seek help and it sounds more like you reject others before they can reject you which is very common among people who fear rejection. It sounds like you have rejection sensitivity which is super common among those who have been rejected over and over again in the past but I'm glad you're seeking help and I'm sorry your therapist gave up on you and would like to know why your therapist did that.