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*Beth* · Jul 09, 2022 at 04:53 PM

Hi PenniePinkPJs, Your user name is so cute.

It's heartbreaking to read what you went through as a child.

I strongly relate to your experiences, as many of mine are similar to yours. My father has been dead for 33 years, but before he divorced my mother I loved him so much. I have never understood how he could have left me with my mother, who was severely mentally disturbed, and a step-father who was

Possible trigger:

violent and emotionally and sexually abusive. My mother also told me that she had tried to give herself an abortion when pregnant with me. She also threatened to kill me when I was a little girl, she said she would do it while I was asleep. Yet she would also become someone else and tell me that God had given me to her for a good reason...da, da, da. She could be loving and kind - then reverse every kindness and become a demon.

I recognized, even at a young age, that my mother was mentally ill. Meanwhile, my step-father (who was 13 years younger than my mother) continued to be terribly abusive, violent, and exhibit very bizarre behavior in the way he dressed. I suppose that he, too, had a mental illness - or a few.

I also stood up for myself at age 17. I had had enough of my mother beating on me, so I hit her back. After that she never struck me again. When I was 18, shortly after graduating high school, I moved in with my boyfriend.

So here I am at age 59 having been on medication for decades and in therapy for years...with both meds and therapy only somewhat helpful.

How about you? Are you seeing a therapist?