Hmm sounds like he might be bipolar and tends to get manic and careless. I have dealt with this behavior but only years later learned about how this is often what bipolar behaves like. There is a lot more information available now then when I was younger. No internet and cell phones like there is now. Often the pattern is repeated and bad business decisions are made. You were expected to live your life around his cycles. It’s good to be aware of that and work yourself away from that kind of unhealthy lifestyle.

I think if you trace yourself back, you will realize you had been expected to accept and accommodate these type of behaviors. Bet your father was the king too and you were expected to live around his addiction cycles.

Being aware of what you accepted in the past is important so that you learn to be ok with being different and continue to focus on sitting behind the steering wheel yourself for a change. People may not like your new boundaries. But it’s time you developed these boundaries. Please do not let others guilt trip you and don’t fall into guilt tripping yourself.

In my own experience, if another person has no interest in changing there is nothing you can do and often once you set boundaries it tends to end the relationship. People make mistakes, it’s part of learning and growing, but if a person keeps repeating the same mistakes they are not going to grow and improve.

From what you shared, he was king and you were the codependent. He felt that was a perfect relationship for him (red flag). That was NOT healthy for you. You have decided to grow and get your own needs met. That won’t work for him and he left. Do not give in, know the cycle and commit to changing your part in it.