Well, if it's any comfort, I totally agree with you . . . and for exactly the reasons you cite. They ARE being condescending. They truly don't realize that they are not being gracious.

Since I stopped coloring my hair, I sometimes get called "young lady." I don't like it. Neither will these rude people, when they become seniors. I used to take an elderly, male friend out to eat now and then. He was in a wheel chair and in bad health. At Red Lobster, the manager (who was far from young himself) would bend low like he was dipping down before a child and say, "Right this way, young man." He'ld say it loudly with this kind of a chuckle in his voice. I can't tell you how much I hated that.

My friend never expressed irritation, but I don't think this patronizing greeting made him feel good. It sounds so sarcastic. The manager seemed to be saying, "Well, aren't you a cute little old codger." Until getting sick, my friend had been a strong, nice looking man, even at his advanced age. He was particular about his appearance and dressed well. These patronizing greetings only started when he had to go out in the wheelchair. We'ld be in the lobby, surrounded by others waiting for tables. Suddenly, my friend would be singled out for this "special" welcome. It horrified me. I dreaded my friend being addressed in that clownish way.

People can be so ignorant.